FOUR little FULTONS: I was run over by a MACK truck...

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I was run over by a MACK truck...

This past week has been a rough one for me. I had the week off & since we're home I made a list in my mind of things we need to do around here. Things we have let go for way TOO long! The list is HUGE! There is so much to accomplish & not enough time to do it in. Everywhere I look there are MORE projects left un done. I have books to pack away or donate, bedroom's to finish painting, crafts to finish putting together, the mental list goes on & on... I really try to motivate myself but some days I just give up! I tell myself that tomorrow is another day! YEAH RIGHT! I try & I try to accomplish one thing but then another item takes presidence. Then I'm screwed! Before I know it chaos has entered our home. I do not like chaos! The minute the tribe goes down for a nap I start dealing with my stacks of stuff! I could never get things done when they are awake. I tried it once & it was a catastrophe! They were into EVERYTHING! SO I try little by little, stack by stack, project by project. The worst part is that seeing unfinished projects gives me such anxiety. I need to have everything in it's place. That is a terrible way to feel when you are a parent of multiples. I know that you cannot sweat the small stuff. I wish I could get over feeling that way! One thing I did accomplish is laying down the rubber mat in our den. Well sort of. I need help moving the BIG pieces as you can see. I get into a groove & then the tribe wakes up & I have to be "Super Mommy", fixer of all wounds and a woman that makes everything ok. Well I may be a woman but I do NOT feel "SUPER"! What I want is help! I want someone to realize that being in this house full of toddlers brinking on the "terrible two's" is tough! I am spent! It sounds terrible but I just wish for some alone time. Some time for me to take care of me. I can not remember the last time I went out by myself let alone with my husband, who's he? LOL! I also want to be able to get through the day without calling my husband in tears. Telling him that I want to drive off into the sunset because I cannot do this! They need SO much & I am spread so thin! Yes, we have made it pretty far into this multiples mayhem BUT I really feel like I am failing! Failing at being his wife because we never seem to have quality husband & wife time. I cannot tell you the last time we went on a date! YIKES! Then theres the household situation. A clean house? Yeah right!? At least we don't have bugs! LOL! I used to love making meals for Michael. Try out new recipes. That seems like eon's ago! I RARELY make a home cooked meal! If I do make a meal I almost always forget the side dish. You know to make it a well balanced meal. My meals are NEVER well balanced! It's more like making ravioli with sauce & that's it. Now my mom would make sure she made a salad & garlic bread with her ravioli's. Why do I not remember those things? Heck I am lucky if I remember to give them their sippies! I am SO bad about that! Now being a mommy X5. Thats the sinker. Having four toddlers at my feet crying because someone {Lindsey} bit them, or another one took the toy that they think is theirs. {You need to learn to share little people!}. If they fall down & get a scrape I try to not let it affect me. I will tend to them but I cannot get all emotional over that when there is bound to be another life altering event happening soon. I guess I have been in way TOO many Doctor's office when it was not a well check up that I just roll with the punches. I guess it's my way of dealing with a house full of screaming children wanting the one & only me! Now you may wonder if I have spoken to my doctor about how I feel & the answer is yes. I have had blood work done & hopefully he can "fix" me! A lot of this could just be hormones but the fact remains, I have quadruplets. My life is going to be crazy & different than most. Please keep me in your prayers! Who would have thought being a wife, a mommy & then taking care of the house would be SO dang hard! All I can say is that some days I feel like...

I was run over by a MACK truck...

4 comments:

Marisa Novak said...: Exhale! Honestly, it is clear that failure is far from your vocabulary. You are amazing and I celebrate each time you post. Keep that deep faith and beautiful spirit full of life as you wrap your time and energy around each child-because you are one in the same. They will know you, appreciate you and love you. Allow yourself to love who you are at each moment -even in your imperfection. Your husband will admire your weaknesses as much as your strengths. You have a true love and it will pierce through any clouds of doubt, stress or demand. Keep looking for that time needed and continue to ask for help -it will come.; June 18, 2009 at 12:29 AM
Suzy said...: Your honesty is refreshing! I have 6-month-old BGBG quads, and I can already relate. I can't imagine what things will be like when they are older, but I am just hoping it's a bit easier. I have to admit that this post does not give me much hope, though. ;); June 19, 2009 at 8:56 PM
Fulton Quads said...: Marisa - Thank you Momma! Things here have just been overwhelming lately! Today was a MUCH better day! Michael kept the kids so I could head down to Grandma's a day early. I work tomorrow. It is SO nice to have the time alone but I do miss them so!

Suzy - First off Thank you for reading our blog! I try not to "sugar coat" things. Congrats on having quads! I checked out your blog & see they were a good weight at birth! WOO HOO! Kudos to you! It is VERY hard having multiples let alone quads but also very rewarding. I have MANY more good days but right now mine are entering their terrible two's. It is ROUGH! Get a good support system in place & make sure you & your hubby get couple time. SO important! Hugs to all! - Cathy; June 19, 2009 at 9:36 PM
jag said...: GIRL! Bless your heart! I'm exhausted just reading this post!; June 19, 2009 at 10:42 PM

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Our Story...

Ok I am now over 8 years into this "job" of mine, being a mommy to multiples, high order multiples to boot! They say that if you try to conceive without protection for one year with no success then you are infertile. Those words were a lot to take in. I sought answers from everyone. We started out with our 1st OB/GYN Dr William Casale doing the normal testing that they were equipped to do. We did it all, IUI's, spermwashing, etc. I then contacted RESOLVE, a wonderful organization for people like me (could not get pregnant). I started making mental notes of what I needed to achieve my dream, to be a mom! The next step was to go see a Fertility Doctor. We chose to see Dr Mark Denker. After checking me out he then referred Michael to see a Urologist who ended up putting him on clomid. Yes, men can take this RX too! It helps make more sperm just like it helps a woman create more follicles. It is AMAZING the things you learn when you are trying to conceive! After further testing we were both told we had fertility issues, I had fewer eggs than a woman my age & they were "tough", Michael had double vericasils so that in order for us to have the "best odds" we needed to go the IVF route. I had this feeling that it was not going to work right away, call it my intuition. So we bought a package, can you even believe that they sell "packages" like a travel agency? Our "package" included 3 rounds of IVF with ICSI, minus all the meds I would need. The drugs are an expense we did not even think of but had to purchase for this entire thing to work. Well, it ended up taking all 3 rounds of IVF & accupuncture courtesy of Dr Susan Schiff for me to get pregnant & boy did I get pregnant! (Trust your intuition!) We started out with very few follicles, only 3 fertilized into embryo's and all three took. I was finally pregnant! 8 weeks into my pregnancy one of the embryo's split & became identical. Can you believe that!? What are the odds? No one told me that could happen! AMAZING! We had a lot of decisions to make. No one thought that we should keep all four. In the medical world it is called a "selective reduction". Only a few doctors even do this procedure. We did not know what our future would hold just that we could not reduce anything! In the beginning we had a hard time finding a doctor that felt like we did & wanted our four babies to thrive! We finally found Dr Moises Virelles, a fellow Christian & my now OB/GYN. He then referred us to an AWESOME Perinatologist, Dr Gary Cohen. Having the two of them on our side we knew ANYTHING was possible! My pregnancy was really uneventful. I was put on "bed rest" at 22 weeks. I later found out my "bed rest" was unlike other women's bed rest. I was just not allowed to work. I continued to do things, just stayed off my feet as much as possible. If I went shopping I would ride a motorized scooter. If I went to a party I sat pretty much the entire time. I had no issues, my cervix was long & rock solid. I really feel that God wanted me to be a mommy! The babies were great! They kicked each other more than they kicked me! People would look at me & could not believe that I had four babies inside me, I tell you I was meant to carry quads! Now don't get me wrong, it was not a joy ride, I was miserable towards the end & felt it very difficult to breathe. I never even went into the hospital prior to January 15th. Even though I asked them to admit me MANY times!! On January 17, 2007 we welcomed our GBGG quads; Camryn, Brendan, Avery & Lindsey into this world. 1 set is fraternal & 1 set is identical. They weighed 4 lb 7 oz, 4 lb 4 oz, 3 lb 6 oz & 3 lb 3 oz. I made it 32 weeks 5 days when I delivered them at St Mary's Medical Center. They were all HEALTHY and they did not need to be intubated! WOO HOO! They were little miracles destined to be here! I had nurses come up to me & tell me how wonderful it was that I carried them so long, that it was a better gift holding onto them as long as I did than a Harvard education! WOW! We were SO happy, excited & most of all unprepared for how much our life was about to change. I will say it was a GOOD change! I cannot imagine my life without them! Everyone watches our little ones in amazement & they still do. This is their story....

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