FOUR little FULTONS: What exactly is a STAY AT HOME Mommy?...

Friday, October 30, 2009

What exactly is a STAY AT HOME Mommy?...

As many of you know I work part time to keep my sanity in this CRAZY life I lead. Not only just it help my sanity but it helps create funds to pay for the expense of having soon to be three year old quadruplets as well as a soon to be fourteen old son. They could eat us out of house & home if we let them! LOL! Michael working FULL time & me working FULL time at home PLUS working PART time outside the home does not give us much "couple" time but we persevere! I try to stay active & get the tribe involved in MANY activities. Sometimes it is overwhelming but that's when I take a step back & choose my next activity wisely. I never thought about my "outside" career until the other day. Let's fast forward to a quick conversation I had with another mommy recently. She was telling me upcoming events for Halloween & then told me about a play group she attends with her child. Don't know why that came up but it did. I mentioned how I would LOVE to get the info so when I am in town I could maybe meet up with them. That is when those words I never thought I would hear came out of her mouth. "It's for stay at home moms". What exactly is a "Stay at home Mom" these days? In today's society & certainly with the economic struggles we all are having I cannot see how anyone makes it on just one income alone. I was rather hurt that she said that to me because I interpreted it as mom's that work outside the home are less important to those women. I feel that I can contribute just as much to conversation as those that stay home ALL the time. The fact that I work PART TIME excludes me from that group?!?. It's like segregation is back! Hello people it's almost 2010! We all need to help one another out & accept EVERYONE! Needless to say If asked I would not join that group if my life depended on it. Sad that one comment can dissuade me SO much. I just do not think if I ran a play group I would exclude people just because they chose to help out their family by working OUTSIDE the home. So I ask you...

What exactly is a STAY AT HOME Mommy?...

1 comments:

Novabella said...: I have never had kids. People think it's a lifestyle choice, but believe me it was not that simple. It's more a matter of the stars not aligning properly.

I teach at a university so it is my privilege to get to meet and work with other people's kids (once they are almost grown up). So all in all it has worked out.

I would like to think that we are all-- moms and dads, childless folk, people who work out of the home and those who do not, grandmas and grandpas-- all on the same team. We are helping the leaders and followers of tomorrow find their way. We ALL need EACH OTHER. Let's get over this nonsense and try to be the best we can be, for all kids everywhere.; October 31, 2009 at 5:47 PM

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Our Story...

Ok I am now over 8 years into this "job" of mine, being a mommy to multiples, high order multiples to boot! They say that if you try to conceive without protection for one year with no success then you are infertile. Those words were a lot to take in. I sought answers from everyone. We started out with our 1st OB/GYN Dr William Casale doing the normal testing that they were equipped to do. We did it all, IUI's, spermwashing, etc. I then contacted RESOLVE, a wonderful organization for people like me (could not get pregnant). I started making mental notes of what I needed to achieve my dream, to be a mom! The next step was to go see a Fertility Doctor. We chose to see Dr Mark Denker. After checking me out he then referred Michael to see a Urologist who ended up putting him on clomid. Yes, men can take this RX too! It helps make more sperm just like it helps a woman create more follicles. It is AMAZING the things you learn when you are trying to conceive! After further testing we were both told we had fertility issues, I had fewer eggs than a woman my age & they were "tough", Michael had double vericasils so that in order for us to have the "best odds" we needed to go the IVF route. I had this feeling that it was not going to work right away, call it my intuition. So we bought a package, can you even believe that they sell "packages" like a travel agency? Our "package" included 3 rounds of IVF with ICSI, minus all the meds I would need. The drugs are an expense we did not even think of but had to purchase for this entire thing to work. Well, it ended up taking all 3 rounds of IVF & accupuncture courtesy of Dr Susan Schiff for me to get pregnant & boy did I get pregnant! (Trust your intuition!) We started out with very few follicles, only 3 fertilized into embryo's and all three took. I was finally pregnant! 8 weeks into my pregnancy one of the embryo's split & became identical. Can you believe that!? What are the odds? No one told me that could happen! AMAZING! We had a lot of decisions to make. No one thought that we should keep all four. In the medical world it is called a "selective reduction". Only a few doctors even do this procedure. We did not know what our future would hold just that we could not reduce anything! In the beginning we had a hard time finding a doctor that felt like we did & wanted our four babies to thrive! We finally found Dr Moises Virelles, a fellow Christian & my now OB/GYN. He then referred us to an AWESOME Perinatologist, Dr Gary Cohen. Having the two of them on our side we knew ANYTHING was possible! My pregnancy was really uneventful. I was put on "bed rest" at 22 weeks. I later found out my "bed rest" was unlike other women's bed rest. I was just not allowed to work. I continued to do things, just stayed off my feet as much as possible. If I went shopping I would ride a motorized scooter. If I went to a party I sat pretty much the entire time. I had no issues, my cervix was long & rock solid. I really feel that God wanted me to be a mommy! The babies were great! They kicked each other more than they kicked me! People would look at me & could not believe that I had four babies inside me, I tell you I was meant to carry quads! Now don't get me wrong, it was not a joy ride, I was miserable towards the end & felt it very difficult to breathe. I never even went into the hospital prior to January 15th. Even though I asked them to admit me MANY times!! On January 17, 2007 we welcomed our GBGG quads; Camryn, Brendan, Avery & Lindsey into this world. 1 set is fraternal & 1 set is identical. They weighed 4 lb 7 oz, 4 lb 4 oz, 3 lb 6 oz & 3 lb 3 oz. I made it 32 weeks 5 days when I delivered them at St Mary's Medical Center. They were all HEALTHY and they did not need to be intubated! WOO HOO! They were little miracles destined to be here! I had nurses come up to me & tell me how wonderful it was that I carried them so long, that it was a better gift holding onto them as long as I did than a Harvard education! WOW! We were SO happy, excited & most of all unprepared for how much our life was about to change. I will say it was a GOOD change! I cannot imagine my life without them! Everyone watches our little ones in amazement & they still do. This is their story....

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