FOUR little FULTONS: thoughts

Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Monday, July 19, 2010

the things that make me go hmm...

I have come to the realization lately that I really LOVE blogging! I LOVE sharing things about our family, LOVE recreating some of the funny stuff the tribe says or does & mostly LOVE just having a place for my thoughts. Only problem is that since Four little Fulton's is suppose to be the tribes online baby book I decided I better start a new blog that's just for me! I know TWO blogs PLUS a review blog that's CRAZY right? NO WAY! [= I realize that even though I may not have all the time in the world to blog if the content is interesting then it shoudn't seem like "work". I know I talk a good game. This is a new adventure & I'm REALLY excited about it! So now that I've created the new blog I'm ready to jump right in! Remember it's going to be a place for me to write about the things I find interesting & that affect other women like me! I'm hoping it will become a place that I can retreat to when I have something on my mind or when I just want to share! So PLEASE check it out & tell me what you think! I'm still working out all of the kinks. When all is said & done it will be a place for some of...

the things that make me go hmm...

Monday, May 10, 2010

my wish for EVERY Mother's Day...

Since I can remember I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mother. I would carry around my baby dolls, dress them up, have tea parties with them, etc. IN FACT I still have some of my baby dolls even the doll cradle from when I was little. Gotta love my mom for saving those things that were special to me! SO you can understand when we were having trouble conceiving how I thought I would never get my wish! Back in the day I envisioned motherhood as this ideallic life where the kids would play well together, our home would be clean, dinner was a cinch & life would be grand! Boy was I mistaken! First off I am very happy that the good Lord answered my prayers and allowed me to experience this thing called "motherhood". In fact I was able to celebrate this Mother's Day by attending church with my mom & the tribe at my childhood church. We were lucky enough to get a picture taken of all of us! Don't we look spiffy?! Each & every day with these miracles of ours is a gift but with every gift there comes some sort of cost. Motherhood is NOTHING like I imagined! Now I know nothing is perfect but I never imagined being a mom would be SO difficult! To be that person to four little people at the same exact time is unfathonable! It is SO hard to do! I do what I can & most days I feel like even my best attempts may not be enough. This is just one of the BIG worries on my mind! That and a bunch of other things weigh on my mind!

Will the fact that I had the four of them all at the same time effect them?

Are we making the correct decisions for them developmentally, physically?

Should I have been a SAHM?

Was working part time the best thing for them? for me?

Will they ever get right amount of attention from me?

Should we have started them in preschool sooner?

Can we even afford to send them to preschool?

All of these questions & MANY MANY more continually run through my mind. You can see why I have a hard time sleeping! That & my hubby's snoring does me in! LOL! I just hope that I'm doing a good job! One day when they are older I hope that each of them will tell me that they appreciated all that I did & still do! That every decision I've made has made them into a better person & they are grateful to have me for their mommy! That is...

my wish for EVERY Mother's Day...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

a VERY good day?

Today I had one of those days where EVERYTHING went wrong! Camryn has started climbing out of her crib! Yes, my life has taken yet another turn. It seems like each day there is something NEW going on in this household. They have continued their "nakedness" by taking off their diapers whenever they feel like it. No, it's not to be a BIG girl or boy, I believe they do it just to drive me CRAZY! LOL! They seem to think that taking OFF their diapers & peeing on the floor or better yet in their crib is now the FUNNIEST activity of the day! I cannot wait for the day when they ALL will be potty trained! Pray for me! Another "trick" is to climb on various toys, namely their toy drum, to reach TALL things. They will turn the lights off & on, open the front door to try to "escape" (Thank heaven for deadbolts! LOL!) or climb up just to get COOL things off the counter. Usually it is my purse that they are after & they will porrage through it like little scavengers! Today was an even EXTRAordinary day. Today Avery dumped my coffee (thank goodness it was cold!) all over the dining room table. Daddy better be ok with my clean up job because they wore me out! I tell ya they are QUICK little devils too! They get into even more messes while I am cleaning up their last one! The BAD part about all of this is that they do all of this right in front of me. I tell them "NO" & they do it again! Some days I feel like I just ran a marathon and it will only be 9am! These are my VERY bad days! It is in these moments that I usually call my hubby to tell him that they NEED preschool. He will reassure me that I am doing a "great" job but I do not feel that I am. It is days like today that make me feel that life as a SAHM is not for me! I do NOT do well with days like today! Makes me feel that my life is like that movie "Groundhog Day"! You know where he wakes up to the SAME day EVERY day! That is my life! In the end I know that I do not have much choice in the matter. Michael & I cannot switch positions in our lives. He is the main breadwinner & I am the SAHM. He will continue to watch them on the days that I work & I'll continue to have work as my outlet from my CRAZY life! There is no way that we can afford to send them to preschool. The cost is just TOO much! We will be lucky if we can get them into a voluntary Pre K at almost 4! Let's just say that life in the Fulton house is ROUGH! Having four two year olds is ROUGH! For now I just perservere & wake up each day trying to make it better than the last. That HOPEFULLY I will have more good days than bad. I ask myself when will I feel like I have made a difference? When will they listen to what I say? & most of all When will I have...

a VERY good day?

Our Story...

Ok I am now over 8 years into this "job" of mine, being a mommy to multiples, high order multiples to boot! They say that if you try to conceive without protection for one year with no success then you are infertile. Those words were a lot to take in. I sought answers from everyone. We started out with our 1st OB/GYN Dr William Casale doing the normal testing that they were equipped to do. We did it all, IUI's, spermwashing, etc. I then contacted RESOLVE, a wonderful organization for people like me (could not get pregnant). I started making mental notes of what I needed to achieve my dream, to be a mom! The next step was to go see a Fertility Doctor. We chose to see Dr Mark Denker. After checking me out he then referred Michael to see a Urologist who ended up putting him on clomid. Yes, men can take this RX too! It helps make more sperm just like it helps a woman create more follicles. It is AMAZING the things you learn when you are trying to conceive! After further testing we were both told we had fertility issues, I had fewer eggs than a woman my age & they were "tough", Michael had double vericasils so that in order for us to have the "best odds" we needed to go the IVF route. I had this feeling that it was not going to work right away, call it my intuition. So we bought a package, can you even believe that they sell "packages" like a travel agency? Our "package" included 3 rounds of IVF with ICSI, minus all the meds I would need. The drugs are an expense we did not even think of but had to purchase for this entire thing to work. Well, it ended up taking all 3 rounds of IVF & accupuncture courtesy of Dr Susan Schiff for me to get pregnant & boy did I get pregnant! (Trust your intuition!) We started out with very few follicles, only 3 fertilized into embryo's and all three took. I was finally pregnant! 8 weeks into my pregnancy one of the embryo's split & became identical. Can you believe that!? What are the odds? No one told me that could happen! AMAZING! We had a lot of decisions to make. No one thought that we should keep all four. In the medical world it is called a "selective reduction". Only a few doctors even do this procedure. We did not know what our future would hold just that we could not reduce anything! In the beginning we had a hard time finding a doctor that felt like we did & wanted our four babies to thrive! We finally found Dr Moises Virelles, a fellow Christian & my now OB/GYN. He then referred us to an AWESOME Perinatologist, Dr Gary Cohen. Having the two of them on our side we knew ANYTHING was possible! My pregnancy was really uneventful. I was put on "bed rest" at 22 weeks. I later found out my "bed rest" was unlike other women's bed rest. I was just not allowed to work. I continued to do things, just stayed off my feet as much as possible. If I went shopping I would ride a motorized scooter. If I went to a party I sat pretty much the entire time. I had no issues, my cervix was long & rock solid. I really feel that God wanted me to be a mommy! The babies were great! They kicked each other more than they kicked me! People would look at me & could not believe that I had four babies inside me, I tell you I was meant to carry quads! Now don't get me wrong, it was not a joy ride, I was miserable towards the end & felt it very difficult to breathe. I never even went into the hospital prior to January 15th. Even though I asked them to admit me MANY times!! On January 17, 2007 we welcomed our GBGG quads; Camryn, Brendan, Avery & Lindsey into this world. 1 set is fraternal & 1 set is identical. They weighed 4 lb 7 oz, 4 lb 4 oz, 3 lb 6 oz & 3 lb 3 oz. I made it 32 weeks 5 days when I delivered them at St Mary's Medical Center. They were all HEALTHY and they did not need to be intubated! WOO HOO! They were little miracles destined to be here! I had nurses come up to me & tell me how wonderful it was that I carried them so long, that it was a better gift holding onto them as long as I did than a Harvard education! WOW! We were SO happy, excited & most of all unprepared for how much our life was about to change. I will say it was a GOOD change! I cannot imagine my life without them! Everyone watches our little ones in amazement & they still do. This is their story....

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