Wednesday, November 5, 2008

mommy guilt...

Does anyone out there have this? Find it hard to split up your time so each child can have "one on one time" with their one & only mommy? I find this to be VERY challenging! I try to pick up a different child first each morning, have one child help me fix breakfast or lunch & I even let one tag along with me when I have some "errand" to run. They need that individual time with their Mommy & I try to make sure they get it. But when they are crying unconsolably, I feel like there is just not enough of me to go around. At times I just have to sit on our recliner so they can climb up, at the SAME time, to hug & snuggle with me. Dustyn says it is the sound of my heart that soothes them. Isn't that AMAZING insight from a 12 year old!? They are getting SO big that soon they will not be able to do this much longer. It is in those hysterical moments that I wonder if I am doing what I should, am I being the best mommy!? Does anyone have any suggestions on making this mommy feel less guilty?


mommy guilt...

5 comments:

Devra Renner said...

Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, you actually have your answer in your own post. There literally isn't more of you to go around and you are giving them all you possibly can! Repeat that to yourself. And when that doesn't seem to be doing the trick, you can sing "you can't always get what you want" by the Rolling Stones. I've used that many a time to calm myself down when I didn't know what the kids wanted from me, or I didn't know what I wanted either. Sometimes despite our best intentions our kids still want more, but do they really need more? I think it's easy for us to think they do, but more often than not we are giving them what they need. There is no best mommy, they don't need a "best" mommy, they just need you, mistakes and imperfection included!

Misty said...

I'm so with you on this one! I could have written it myself. And with hubby out of town, well, my demand is even higher!

cc said...

Don't feel guilty! You are a terrific mom! That shows in all that you say and do with your children! I have twins and many times they want me at the same time! or one will want me simply b/c her sister is sitting on me! I couldn't even imagine 4 of them! Dustyn is right... they will be soothed by the sound of your heart! I would cuddle all 4 as long as you can and it sounds like you already have found ways to have one on one time! You are doing great in my book!

Fulton Quads said...

Thank you all for your comments! Hearing another person's perspective really does help! Devra I love the part about singing the Rolling Stone's song! OH I need to remember all of the words! & CC Thanks for sharing from another mommy of multiples perspective & Misty I do not know how you do it!? You go girl! You win my award for handling them ALONE a lot of the time! I just keep repeating what I have alway's said to them "There is only one of me & there's four of you, so PLEASE be patient!". Like they understand that!! One of these days!!

jag said...

Ohh... After reading this post, I feel certain they are all getting what they need. Your story of having them crawl up on you is just so sweet. Now, no more guilt for you. You're great!

Do NOT copy!